Wednesday, June 24

Fictional account of Seeing Eye dog condition

Greetings. I received this from a Seeing Eye email list i'm on. My guide has the same fictional documented condition, except with socks. Read on and enjoy.


Hello everyone,
It's sunny today in Indiana and the temperature is expected to rise to a chilly 90 degrees. So, while I'm in the summer weather, I thought I'd have some fun writing a fictional (again) totally fictional article about Seeing Eye dogs.
Again, this is not true and meant only for fun.

Selective Amnesia in Seeing Eye dogs
Scientists have been carefully studying a vary unique and elite group of dogs known as Seeing Eye dogs, these talented canines have guided their blind handlers steadily onto the pages of history. Every since Moris Frank and his faithful German Shepherd Buddy amazed the public and blazed new trails of freedom and independence for generations of blind people, Seeing Eye dogs are a breed apart.
Now, scientists have discovered that Seeing Eye dogs really are significantly different from their pet peers. Seeing Eye dogs have a special sens organ called a biffle.
Though it is easy to name this organ, it is slightly more difficult to define. The biffle gets its name from bthree words, bark, sniffer and muzzle.
The Seeing Eye dog also has 3 brains.. To be a bit more accurate, there is the main brain located in the knowledge bump and two sub-brains. These sub-brains are located at the tip of the nose and the base of the tail. These sub-brains are driven most powerfully by the biffle rather than the reasoning main brain.
These biffle brains tell the Seeing Eye dog to seek out new people to meet and taisty smells to persue. The tail-base sub-brain keeps the tail ready for maximum overdrive and wagging performance while the nose sub-brain searches for people, food, and children and people with food and children with food and people with children with food and taisty pieces of paper to shred and so on.
The sub-brains are connected to the main brain but, for reasons not fully understood, the neuro transmitter connections are not always strong. This can cause the two sub-brains to override the main brain causing the selective amnesia I will begin to discuss.
Durring training, Seeing Eye dogs learn simple verbal commands. Their understanding of human vocabulary goes further than this. Extra curricular words like no or simple commands like "Stop that!" or "Get out of the trash!" rapidly become crystal clear to these dogs.
However, numerous episodes have been documented where the Seeing Eye dog temporarily forgets simple words.
The most recent episode happened a short while ago.
Watching via the internet, canine researchers and behaviorists observe as Dexter, a cross, carefully removes a shoe from the bed while his handler is in the shower. With infinite care, he places the shoe on the left side of the doorway just inches from its original location.
The handler is seen, shortly after, in her livingroom wearing one shoe and seeking the other. She calls Dexter over and the following dialogue is documented.
"Dexter, where did my other shoe goe?"
"I don't know."
It was together with this one on my bed but now it's gone."
Perhaps it was the *other *dog."
"No, the *other *dog is invisible and could not have taken my shoe."
"Shoe, what's a shoe? Shoo shew? What's a shoe?"
"It's a French term of endearment... Dexter, it's the thing that's missing. It's what is not on my left foot. It's the thing you transported in your biffle while I was in the shower and you've seen shoes all the time."
A short time later, the shoe is found and brought to Dexter.
"See this Dexter? This is a shoe."
"Oh! That's a shoe. Of course. It's the most obvious thing in the universe even horses wear them. Yes, now I recognize it. It really *is a shoe just like you said."
The working Seeing Eye dog is always struggling with grater or lesser degrees of conflict between the biffle sub-brains and the intelectual guiding main brain.
Because these dogs are thrice as smart, they can get away with pretending to be dum. So, next time you praise your dog at the end of the day, put just a little pitty in with the praise. When your dog is feeling his best, pitty makes things even better. Remember the heroic inner struggle your Seeing Eye dog experiences daily. Like Spock's conflict between his human and vulcan halves, your dog has his/her challenges. In the light of these new studies, some selective amnesia is to be expected. The key is to recognize it and go on with your life. Remember that, though your dog may seem foolish, he has more brains than you.

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